About kipfischer : I'm a bit on the wild side, i'll do just about anything, msg me if you want to play.
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kipfischer's favorite FMLs
by -.- / 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2013 at 6:31pm / Isle of Man / Intimacy
Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML
by thanks mom ¬_¬ / 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML
by Awkward / 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm / United States / Work
by never thought I'd say that / 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Transportation
by none / 08/22/2013 at 12:27am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by me / 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
by bglenney / 08/15/2013 at 5:47am / United States (California) / Work
by DandoisFLAT / 08/11/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML
by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
by AnnoyedByFriends / 08/08/2013 at 12:43am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML
by lights on forever / 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm / Turkey (Istanbul) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML
by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…