About kipfischer : I'm a bit on the wild side, i'll do just about anything, msg me if you want to play.
kipfischer's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
kipfischer's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids
by sister sister / 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML
by PapaW / 11/01/2013 at 3:01am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML
by soon to be divorced / 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by OutOfMyMind / 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML
by single / 10/20/2013 at 7:21pm / United States / Love
Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML
by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous
by Sleepy head / 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML
by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by -_- / 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm / United States (Hawaii) / Money
Today, a customer spent ages bitching me out, because he refused to believe he needed to upgrade his computer, which still runs Windows 98, in order to install a modern game for his grandson. He ended up calling my manager and trying to get me fired for scamming him. FML
by what the fuck / 08/25/2013 at 3:28pm / Malaysia (Selangor) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML
by justash12 / 08/25/2013 at 5:13am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML
by pda / 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
- Today, as an overprotective mother, I asked my 19 year-old son, who was going to spend his day on… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…