Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kipfischer

Offline (the 07/25/2015 at 4:43am) | Search for a member

kipfischer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 February 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3395
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kipfischer : I'm a bit on the wild side, i'll do just about anything, msg me if you want to play.

kipfischer's page activity

Visits<b>KribAndSpek</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:52pm<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:00pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:42pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:08pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:38am<b>mixedone223</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:18pm<b>dingostacy</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 5:06pm<b>hurryHM</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 6:34am<b>melinal</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 5:49pm<b>Dannyboy365</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:33am<b>huss11</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 7:13am<b>jsway8</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 3:16am<b>Dblocker</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 2:24am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 2:14am<b>jettli128</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 4:06pm<b>PauloM</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 8:54am<b>RedX1000FML</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 8:17pm<b>familyguy33</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 4:51pm

kipfischer's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of kipfischer's badges

kipfischer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44048) - you deserved it (13218)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49164) - you deserved it (17738)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91529) - you deserved it (6639)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57533) - you deserved it (3837)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33356) - you deserved it (11249)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML

#20927940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38436) - you deserved it (3350)

On 10/20/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by single (woman) - United States

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38029) - you deserved it (12778)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

#20910165
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49902) - you deserved it (13371)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Sleepy head - United States

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59158) - you deserved it (9575)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22351) - you deserved it (65741)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

#20860538
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45722) - you deserved it (3783)

On 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm - money - by -_- (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50357) - you deserved it (8343) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, a customer spent ages bitching me out, because he refused to believe he needed to upgrade his computer, which still runs Windows 98, in order to install a modern game for his grandson. He ended up calling my manager and trying to get me fired for scamming him. FML

#20853843
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40434) - you deserved it (2359)

On 08/25/2013 at 3:28pm - work - by what the fuck (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

#20852966
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48014) - you deserved it (4165)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm - kids - by pda (man) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: