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kinecter

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  • Number of visits : 62
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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kinecter's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42409) - you deserved it (7007)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46674) - you deserved it (3906)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57409) - you deserved it (4906)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49070) - you deserved it (3484)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60309) - you deserved it (4383)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25389) - you deserved it (1839)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

#20090663
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19875) - you deserved it (6363) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (2550)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (426263) - you deserved it (59706)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1157049) - you deserved it (115924)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



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