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Offline (the 01/17/2015 at 9:36am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10685
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kimmi5 : I enjoy FML and read fmls during my down time. I usually don't comment ever. I like to keep to myself mostly. If I look a little young, the picture is not of me but of my little sister. Thanks for taking the time to read about me.

kimmi5's page activity

Visits<b>dvojplisen</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Fennex3</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:05pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:00pm<b>erichanoki</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 6:23pm<b>Shadowsin</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 4:21pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:16am<b>obeykiddsmalls</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 4:46pm<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 9:55pm<b>allstarrider</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 5:27pm<b>PleasantDino</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:11am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:10am<b>xdadev</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:18am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 2:13pm<b>DissyDemon</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 11:53pm<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:33pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:26am<b>dmoran20</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:06pm

Fucked!<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 2:47am

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kimmi5's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2015 at 11:58am / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Money

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

by gothicvamp93 / 01/04/2015 at 1:46am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

by Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia / 01/03/2015 at 8:30pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

by JJ_V3N0M / 01/03/2015 at 5:48am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML

by mastel07 / 12/10/2014 at 7:59am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2014 at 4:14pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML

by Amore / 12/09/2014 at 2:15pm / Kids

Today, while fasting for a medical test, my blood sugar became so low that I had heart palpitations and passed out. My doctor's advice? Fast, so he can run more tests. FML

by fucking moron / 12/09/2014 at 4:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I asked my dad why we didn't have any baby pictures. His response was, "They got lost in the flood of '93." I was born in '95. FML

by mn167109 / 12/09/2014 at 12:45am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

by #goodbyelife / 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I have sodium fluoride poisoning. Apparently, my water has a high level of sodium fluorine. I've been drinking much more water lately trying to be healthier. FML

by anonymous / 12/08/2014 at 6:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML

by lovethateuropeanblood / 12/08/2014 at 9:12am / Japan (Osaka) / Love

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

by BedazzledAlpaca / 12/08/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML

by Haitwun / 12/07/2014 at 9:18pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

by pubemilkshake / 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm / United States (Utah) / Love