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kimmi5

Offline (the 12/10/2014 at 3:45am) | Search for a member

kimmi5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3164
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kimmi5 : I enjoy FML and read fmls during my down time. I usually don't comment ever. I like to keep to myself mostly. If I look a little young, the picture is not of me but of my little sister. Thanks for taking the time to read about me.

kimmi5's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - yesterday at 3:01am<b>greaterdane</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 9:07am<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 9:55pm<b>allstarrider</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 5:27pm<b>PleasantDino</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:11am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:10am<b>xdadev</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:18am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 2:13pm<b>DissyDemon</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 11:53pm<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:33pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:26am<b>dmoran20</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:06pm<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 6:32pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:24am<b>blueflygon</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 4:03am<b>Mike09220</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 8:45pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:22pm

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kimmi5's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML

#21314514
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30925) - you deserved it (2711)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML

#21314459
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31425) - you deserved it (3437)

On 12/09/2014 at 2:15pm - kids - by Amore (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while fasting for a medical test, my blood sugar became so low that I had heart palpitations and passed out. My doctor's advice? Fast, so he can run more tests. FML

#21314271
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28617) - you deserved it (2389)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:39am - health - by fucking moron (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my dad why we didn't have any baby pictures. His response was, "They got lost in the flood of '93." I was born in '95. FML

#21314190
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29807) - you deserved it (2201)

On 12/09/2014 at 12:45am - misc - by mn167109 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

#21314000
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (5335)

On 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by #goodbyelife - United States

Today, I found out I have sodium fluoride poisoning. Apparently, my water has a high level of sodium fluorine. I've been drinking much more water lately trying to be healthier. FML

#21313951
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29353) - you deserved it (2265)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:23pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally found my passport. The day after my flight took off and left me behind. FML

#21313778
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29146) - you deserved it (8347)

On 12/08/2014 at 1:43pm - misc - by forgetful - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML

#21313670
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29190) - you deserved it (4270)

On 12/08/2014 at 9:12am - love - by lovethateuropeanblood (woman) - Japan (Osaka)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

#21313515
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30424) - you deserved it (3661)

On 12/08/2014 at 12:03am - misc - by BedazzledAlpaca (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML

#21313391
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31414) - you deserved it (2377)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:18pm - misc - by Haitwun (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

#21313388
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (4105)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm - misc - by pubemilkshake - United States (Utah)

Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML

#21313160
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36143) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/07/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20421) - you deserved it (32823)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29568) - you deserved it (5874)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38285) - you deserved it (2228)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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