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Offline (the 07/06/2015 at 7:37am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 February 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 731
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kimCandycotton : ♡

kimCandycotton's page activity

Visits<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 5:21am<b>billybobjim1</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 12:41pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 9:17am<b>elizabeth2016</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 8:53am<b>night_and_day</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 11:32pm<b>Valcannos</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 10:54pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 1:17am<b>cascaval</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 3:50pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 4:04pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 1:20pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:24pm<b>sophie_foster</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 6:49am<b>JEVCLQ</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 2:29am<b>DanJones1986</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:49pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:28pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 4:51pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:44pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:38am

Fucked!<b>saocrates</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 7:17am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 10:04pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 12:29am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:52pm<b>Manosapo</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:37pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:53am<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:21pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:35am<b>rockwrench</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:03am

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kimCandycotton's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a road trip through Australia with my dad, we were both complaining that we had yet to see any kangaroos. Suddenly, we saw one up real close. The rental car saw it even closer. FML

by australian6196 / 02/04/2014 at 9:36pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

by anahira6 / 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

by OnPlanetVenus / 07/04/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

by WeakerThanaLittleGirl / 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm / United States / Health

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

by fail / 06/15/2012 at 11:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

by DaveAlmighty / 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML

Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll. FML

by INeedMoney / 01/28/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

by addicted2v / 01/21/2012 at 8:25am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

by Pissed / 10/05/2011 at 11:29am / Australia / Kids

Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML

by hatty / 09/23/2011 at 9:48am / United Kingdom (East Lothian) / Transportation

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I helped an elderly lady unscrew the cooling tank's cap from her smoking car. My reward? A scalding shower of toxic, pungent antifreeze that erupted moments after removing said cap. She didn't even thank me. FML

by thoughtcrimeno1 / 07/06/2011 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous