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kimCandycotton's favorite FMLs
by australian6196 / 02/04/2014 at 9:36pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML
by anahira6 / 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by OnPlanetVenus / 07/04/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML
by WeakerThanaLittleGirl / 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm / United States / Health
by fail / 06/15/2012 at 11:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by DaveAlmighty / 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm / United States / Kids
by Kayla_Zee_Ninja / 03/07/2012 at 11:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by INeedMoney / 01/28/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by addicted2v / 01/21/2012 at 8:25am / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
by Pissed / 10/05/2011 at 11:29am / Australia / Kids
Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML
by hatty / 09/23/2011 at 9:48am / United Kingdom (East Lothian) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I helped an elderly lady unscrew the cooling tank's cap from her smoking car. My reward? A scalding shower of toxic, pungent antifreeze that erupted moments after removing said cap. She didn't even thank me. FML
by thoughtcrimeno1 / 07/06/2011 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…