Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kimCandycotton

Offline (the 05/21/2015 at 8:13pm) | Search for a member

kimCandycotton

10Fucked!

kimCandycottonkimCandycotton
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 297
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kimCandycotton : ♡

kimCandycotton's page activity

Visits<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 4:04pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 1:20pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:24pm<b>sophie_foster</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 6:49am<b>JEVCLQ</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 2:29am<b>DanJones1986</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:49pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:28pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 4:51pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:44pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:38am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:37pm<b>bkc1980</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 10:56pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:17pm<b>SamBeast</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:33pm<b>Jason89</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 5:14pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 12:49am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 5:53am

Fucked!<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 10:04pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 12:29am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:52pm<b>Manosapo</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:37pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:53am<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:21pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:35am<b>rockwrench</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:03am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:45am

kimCandycotton's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of kimCandycotton's badges

kimCandycotton's favorite FMLs

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

#21000521
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39415) - you deserved it (10816)

On 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

#20898132
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44490) - you deserved it (2651)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by anahira6 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66716) - you deserved it (5786)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

#20493569
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30717) - you deserved it (6696)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (2422)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (2908)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States

Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML

#19236548
95 comments

Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll. FML

#18930707
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you deserved it (4635)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:58am - money - by INeedMoney - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

#18869027
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39372) - you deserved it (3609)

On 01/21/2012 at 8:25am - love - by addicted2v - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

#18052574
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52878) - you deserved it (4158)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

#17910752
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22839) - you deserved it (7567)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia

Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML

#17812244
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24729) - you deserved it (5732)

On 09/23/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by hatty - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML

#17805536
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8485) - you deserved it (27133)

On 09/22/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I helped an elderly lady unscrew the cooling tank's cap from her smoking car. My reward? A scalding shower of toxic, pungent antifreeze that erupted moments after removing said cap. She didn't even thank me. FML

#16995369
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24239) - you deserved it (16921)

On 07/06/2011 at 1:27am - misc - by thoughtcrimeno1 - United States (Texas)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: