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killmeslowly5

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killmeslowly5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 44
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About killmeslowly5 : Hurting right now.

killmeslowly5's page activity

Visits<b>BuchiNeko</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:35am<b>WolfNinjaShark</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 10:42pm<b>breakinlegs</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 3:25pm<b>NinjaDitto623</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 1:14pm<b>djgoreo</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 12:49am<b>HolyCrepe</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 10:36am<b>Albi90</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 6:21am<b>twilightriforce</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 5:03pm<b>pruebadecolor</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 4:38pm<b>ButterflyLadyBug</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 4:22pm<b>forlifebro</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:15pm<b>rosenkrieger223</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 5:36pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 1:20pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 7:04pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 11:02am<b>Ionosphere</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 10:48am<b>SneakyCaveman</b> - the 09/16/2012 at 10:49pm<b>SApprentice</b> - the 09/16/2012 at 10:49pm

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killmeslowly5's favorite FMLs

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

#20921961
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39170) - you deserved it (2814)

On 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm - health - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43242) - you deserved it (7282)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61126) - you deserved it (25689)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38930) - you deserved it (2891)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

#20825465
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56068) - you deserved it (4908)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by shampoomice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67123) - you deserved it (9902)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60436) - you deserved it (9127)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33752) - you deserved it (5508)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32964) - you deserved it (3435)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18240) - you deserved it (2104)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7184) - you deserved it (65641)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118978) - you deserved it (73881)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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