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killmeslowly5

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killmeslowly5
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 July 1996 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 10
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About killmeslowly5 : Hurting right now.

killmeslowly5's last visitors

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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killmeslowly5's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58028) - you deserved it (8180)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53773) - you deserved it (7635)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (3964)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (2426)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13105) - you deserved it (1389)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5437) - you deserved it (48251)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)



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