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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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killloneliness

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killloneliness
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  • Number of visits : 642
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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killloneliness's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (23685) - you deserved it (23562)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML

#6365107 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (18997) - you deserved it (3523)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:33am - health - by SeeTony (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (66551) - you deserved it (9418)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML

#5826781 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (13750) - you deserved it (6083)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was my 19th birthday. My boss let me out early to celebrate. On my way home I was hit by a man doing 65 in a 40mph stretch of road. My car was completely destroyed. I spent the rest of my birthday sitting in the ER being treated for a pinched shoulder nerve and whiplash. FML

#5769676 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (30715) - you deserved it (1357)

On 10/11/2009 at 1:09am - health - by WhoDoYouLove6208 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML

#3355159 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (9074) - you deserved it (36807)

On 06/30/2009 at 1:14am - health - by POLYBLOT (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

#2984635 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (65720) - you deserved it (1868)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

#2821458 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (57468) - you deserved it (2474)

On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)