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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
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Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23676) - you deserved it (4618)
On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I decided to do a word search in my daughter's Hello Kitty coloring book. It took me 30 minutes to find 6 words in a kids coloring book for ages 1 and up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8749) - you deserved it (23648)
On 02/27/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by ldbella - United States
Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26762) - you deserved it (2367)
On 02/26/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Angela (woman) - United States
Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5096) - you deserved it (49735)
On 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by bitchyskier - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (7441)
On 02/24/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by JustADream (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was looking at an old post between my ex and I on Facebook. Everything I was reading was adorable. Just as I was reminiscing about the great relationship we had, I look to the right of the screen to see the girl he cheated on me with in "People you may know". Thanks Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25370) - you deserved it (6702)
On 02/24/2011 at 1:20am - misc - by ruinedmoment (woman) - United States (California)
Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38324) - you deserved it (8233)
On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32934) - you deserved it (21132) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5390) - you deserved it (45388)
On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I fed my cats their usual dinner of canned cat food. Without thinking, I put the spoon I had used for their food into my mouth so I could use both hands to rinse the can before recycling it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8412) - you deserved it (20189)
On 01/09/2011 at 10:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29263) - you deserved it (4392)
On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29670) - you deserved it (8010)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Today, I walked to school in -5 degree weather, snow up to ankles, for an exam. The school had closed and warned all the parents, but mine didn't tell me, because it was "funnier". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28408) - you deserved it (3153)
On 12/21/2010 at 10:21am - misc - by stupid (woman) - Ireland (Meath)
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27480) - you deserved it (3058)
On 12/18/2010 at 4:11am - love - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23598) - you deserved it (9803)
On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Friday 24 May 2013
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