killerkirsche

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Offline (the 12/14/2015 at 12:21am)

killerkirsche

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 April 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2116
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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killerkirsche's page activity

Visits<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 3:42pm

killerkirsche's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of killerkirsche's badges

killerkirsche's favorite FMLs

Today, I called a wrong number. Calling back the right person, I began a long story about how I'd just called the wrong number. It was the wrong number lady again. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 8:38am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2011 at 2:57pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I couldn't get the airplane seat buckle to buckle, I faced the fact that I've been in denial about how fat I have become. The people in my row faced it too as I began to sob uncontrollably. FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

by duncanisgey / 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I decided to do a word search in my daughter's Hello Kitty coloring book. It took me 30 minutes to find 6 words in a kids coloring book for ages 1 and up. FML

by ldbella / 02/27/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Kids

Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML

by Angela / 02/26/2011 at 8:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

by bitchyskier / 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

by JustADream / 02/24/2011 at 1:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking at an old post between my ex and I on Facebook. Everything I was reading was adorable. Just as I was reminiscing about the great relationship we had, I look to the right of the screen to see the girl he cheated on me with in "People you may know". Thanks Facebook. FML

by ruinedmoment / 02/24/2011 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

by Someone / 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 3:25am / United States (Connecticut) / Animals

Today, I fed my cats their usual dinner of canned cat food. Without thinking, I put the spoon I had used for their food into my mouth so I could use both hands to rinse the can before recycling it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 10:18pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

by georgiahick / 12/30/2010 at 9:09am / Intimacy

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

by lerouxmaster / 12/22/2010 at 6:43am / Kids