killerkirsche

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/14/2015 at 12:21am)

killerkirsche

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 April 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2417
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

killerkirsche's page activity

Visits<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 3:42pm

killerkirsche's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of killerkirsche's badges

killerkirsche's favorite FMLs

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

by Kendal / 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

by dukebluedevils13 / 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

by Bill Harrison / 07/19/2011 at 11:19am / United States / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

by anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 12:32am / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML

by emegemerald / 07/04/2011 at 12:13am / United States / Animals

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to spice up our sex life, so we went and had sex in the park. We had 30 minutes of "spice", just to spend seven hours in jail. FML

by T-Guy / 07/02/2011 at 11:01pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

by princev / 06/18/2011 at 6:32am / United States / Health

Today, I was at the water park, when I slipped and fell to the ground in front of the no running sign. I was walking. FML

by NoRunning / 06/17/2011 at 3:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

by evomadrid24 / 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

by El Stupido / 06/12/2011 at 9:51am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

by chickennbenchpress / 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

by BurnedByAWaiter / 05/24/2011 at 9:59am / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

by yobruh / 05/17/2011 at 12:54am / Kids

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

by coldwetnose / 05/09/2011 at 2:08am / United States / Intimacy