Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

killerkirsche

Offline (the 02/15/2014 at 10:05pm) | Search for a member

killerkirsche

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 April 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1260
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

killerkirsche's page activity

Visits<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 3:42pm

killerkirsche's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of killerkirsche's badges

killerkirsche's favorite FMLs

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

#17558329
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9170) - you deserved it (45034)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39186) - you deserved it (7273)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

#17176050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27483) - you deserved it (6085)

On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

#16980520
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9600) - you deserved it (66311)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML

#16967772
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28232) - you deserved it (2240)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:13am - animals - by emegemerald - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to spice up our sex life, so we went and had sex in the park. We had 30 minutes of "spice", just to spend seven hours in jail. FML

#16954796
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13624) - you deserved it (44849)

On 07/02/2011 at 11:01pm - intimacy - by T-Guy (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60624) - you deserved it (7459)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9600) - you deserved it (100707)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, I was at the water park, when I slipped and fell to the ground in front of the no running sign. I was walking. FML

#16713536
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24319) - you deserved it (4601)

On 06/17/2011 at 3:15pm - misc - by NoRunning - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

#16700863
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43142) - you deserved it (9360)

On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12029) - you deserved it (53507)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

#16435078
488 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15407) - you deserved it (73645)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by chickennbenchpress (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

#16326196
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35592) - you deserved it (7560)

On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37782) - you deserved it (10277)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41408) - you deserved it (17440)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: