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killerkirsche

Offline (the 02/15/2014 at 10:05pm) | Search for a member

killerkirsche

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 April 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1203
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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killerkirsche's page activity

Visits<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 3:42pm

killerkirsche's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of killerkirsche's badges

killerkirsche's favorite FMLs

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29072) - you deserved it (9270)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

#19026198
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22775) - you deserved it (1826)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

#18991669
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31383) - you deserved it (2750) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/04/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by DarkDolly - France

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12729) - you deserved it (46480)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19882) - you deserved it (39137)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

#18580798
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you deserved it (4060) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by anna - France

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30905) - you deserved it (2395)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25051) - you deserved it (2489)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML

#18482161
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30409) - you deserved it (2234)

On 12/11/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

#18447491
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27731) - you deserved it (3511)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14603) - you deserved it (39178)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24095) - you deserved it (5017)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31145) - you deserved it (15521)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

#18329759
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31179) - you deserved it (5537)

On 11/23/2011 at 6:54pm - health - by chunkymonkey (woman) -

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for not noticing the signs sooner. FML

#18322997
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37889) - you deserved it (4417)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Julie - United States (California)



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