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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I finally finished my art project which was worth 50% of my quarterly grade. I came in 1st period to give it to her. When she turned to look at it, her elbow hit her coffee and spilled it all over the canvas. I got 60%. She said I would have had a 100%, except for the giant coffee stain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47759) - you deserved it (2256)
On 11/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I had dinner with my family at a fancy restaurant. They kept commenting about how cold it was and asked the waitress to turn off the air conditioning. When I got home, I realized the embroidered daisies on my undershirt made it look like I have giant protruding nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13840) - you deserved it (3618)
On 09/14/2009 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25089) - you deserved it (2825)
On 08/23/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Boltz719 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7044) - you deserved it (71749)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I received a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facebook app) from my boyfriend of 3 years. Along with the ring came a message. It read, "Will you marry me?" He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48206) - you deserved it (7153)
On 07/17/2009 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was holding a yard sale. A man came up to me and asked if he could buy a pair of red and white sneakers that I'd found in my attic and had never worn. Five bucks later, he was walking away with what I now realize was the pair of shoes signed by Michael Jordan given to me by my uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9623) - you deserved it (53311)
On 07/03/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by capcha (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62857) - you deserved it (33467)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML
I agree, your life sucks (112354) - you deserved it (9395)
On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait
Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14202) - you deserved it (46380)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53470) - you deserved it (6540)
On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (350967)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17521) - you deserved it (46777)
On 04/06/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101155) - you deserved it (6480)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:38pm - love - by bride (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30856) - you deserved it (65564)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my mom suspected me of doing marijuana. She went and bought a home-drug test and sent me to the bathroom. As I went in, I realized there was already pee in the toilet. I scooped that instead of my own and handed it to my mom. It came up positive. My sister used the bathroom last. She's 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26040) - you deserved it (57136)
On 03/24/2009 at 12:19am - health - by smokythebear (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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