kevint9911

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Offline (the 09/24/2014 at 5:19pm)

kevint9911

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6126
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kevint9911's page activity

Visits<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 3:20pm<b>Flamecube</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:07am<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 8:35pm<b>LivClaire96</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:56am<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 11:45pm<b>nathancarter</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:22am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:13pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:00pm<b>getrekt</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 8:19am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 5:44pm<b>RedTailBoa</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 4:06pm<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 1:48pm<b>sydneytaylor2516</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 1:47pm<b>ladyleo88</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 12:48pm<b>PlasticSand</b> - the 02/08/2012 at 10:38pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:51am

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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kevint9911's favorite FMLs

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

by fuck but no fuck / 08/02/2013 at 3:44pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

by YouSoSmelly / 08/02/2013 at 9:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year. My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time. She's 31. FML

by kilamo80 / 07/27/2013 at 5:26am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML

by ........................... / 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Love

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

by libraries are a girl's best friend / 07/19/2013 at 5:53pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

by peniswoman / 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Intimacy

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

by mile high clubber / 07/14/2013 at 6:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

by fuck / 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

by readytoamputatemyfeet / 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

by bestiality, not even once / 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids