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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20158) - you deserved it (3844)
On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19297) - you deserved it (3187)
On 03/27/2012 at 11:54am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13704) - you deserved it (2158)
On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)
Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14517) - you deserved it (2303)
On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States
Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21230) - you deserved it (1729)
On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7076) - you deserved it (27404)
On 03/25/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by BookBabe (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30262) - you deserved it (8665)
On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13393) - you deserved it (4445)
On 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6194) - you deserved it (28935)
On 03/18/2012 at 7:41am - love - by Austin Franklin - United States
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18519) - you deserved it (7429)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)
Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18295) - you deserved it (1659)
On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15008) - you deserved it (1459)
On 03/14/2012 at 10:38am - love - by mel_bear_ (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19883) - you deserved it (6927)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15347) - you deserved it (5415)
On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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