kevint9911

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Offline (the 09/24/2014 at 5:19pm)

kevint9911

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6635
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kevint9911's page activity

Visits<b>californian21</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 3:23pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 3:20pm<b>Flamecube</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:07am<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 8:35pm<b>LivClaire96</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:56am<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 11:45pm<b>nathancarter</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:22am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:13pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:00pm<b>getrekt</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 8:19am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 5:44pm<b>RedTailBoa</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 4:06pm<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 1:48pm<b>sydneytaylor2516</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 1:47pm<b>ladyleo88</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 12:48pm<b>PlasticSand</b> - the 02/08/2012 at 10:38pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:51am

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kevint9911's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 10:34am / United States (Connecticut) / Money

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

by Diachronic / 09/12/2014 at 4:05am / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

by very punny / 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

by wowzer / 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm / Puerto Rico / Love

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

by WTF, guys? / 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2014 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Geek

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

by AnnoyedWoman / 08/17/2014 at 6:19am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

by Dancing King / 08/07/2014 at 11:36am / Norway (Rogaland) / Health

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

by We raised that fool / 08/06/2014 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML

by scared / 08/03/2014 at 8:47pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work