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kevin_schachle

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kevin_schachle

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  • Number of visits : 96
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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kevin_schachle's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

#20668540
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56390) - you deserved it (4771)

On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59118) - you deserved it (5792)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49261) - you deserved it (11065)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61791) - you deserved it (4994)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11706) - you deserved it (65558)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

#16830734
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25678) - you deserved it (11355)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:57am - health - by chaoticnh - Austria

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for 'the trouble' I caused. FML

#15247228
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36471) - you deserved it (3336)

On 03/09/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Cashier (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

#14727355
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12117) - you deserved it (41928)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

#14702634
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22674) - you deserved it (3270)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

#14671096
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38377) - you deserved it (3189)

On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I crawled into bed naked, wanting to get some and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass and said 'oh' then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

#13069724
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31812) - you deserved it (5412)

On 09/16/2010 at 1:13am - intimacy - by bonesniffer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my name literally means "burden". This wouldn't be so bad if both my mother and father knew this when they named me. FML

#12596251
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25473) - you deserved it (2630)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37893) - you deserved it (17648)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got it on for the first time with a guy I've been dating. He had to turn the TV up loud so that his mom couldn't hear anything. I'm 20 years old and I lost my virginity with Disney Channel blaring in the background. FML

#5434150
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12479) - you deserved it (19043)

On 09/23/2009 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by seriouslystupid (woman) - United States

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

#1770571
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20881) - you deserved it (45543)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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