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kemando

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kemando
  • Town/Country : Somewhere, Canada... Eh.
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 November 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2078
  • Number of comments : 408
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About kemando : The name's Kealan; I'm pretty chill, I love LIGHTS the musician, she's a beautiful person with epic talent her new album "Siberia" has come out (pictured above) and it's awesome. :3 . I have deep connections with everyone in imaginationland. I HATE EMO's!!!! I am upbeat and try to have fun, and I love PIZZA! Videogames aren't a hobby they're a life style. I'm not nerdy or fat so those insults don't apply to me. I like hot blonde chicks with big boobs, but so do most guys. Jessica Nigri is especially hot, I met her! She's great.

Yes, I do have a confirmed FML. :D

Follow me on twitter!
www.twitter.com/Kealander

kemando's last visitors

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kemando's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of kemando's badges

kemando's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47370) - you deserved it (3362)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML

#20623794
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36278) - you deserved it (6973)

On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

#20596072
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55686) - you deserved it (9418)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was dying my hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn my hair a shade or two lighter, but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple. FML

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54097) - you deserved it (7592)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

#20574279
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53509) - you deserved it (3052)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

#20574279
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53509) - you deserved it (3052)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17025) - you deserved it (45921)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

#20561087
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41599) - you deserved it (2704)

On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
185 comments

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38105) - you deserved it (4754)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

#20525715
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19643) - you deserved it (3012)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

#20511268
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29178) - you deserved it (1604)

On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)

Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML

#20494464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22512) - you deserved it (2481)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

#20494408
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21068) - you deserved it (2133)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States



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