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kemando

Offline (the 10/05/2014 at 11:58am) | Search for a member

kemando

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3217
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 17 posted

About kemando : The name's Kealan; I'm pretty chill, I love LIGHTS the musician, she's a beautiful person with epic talent her new album "Siberia" has come out (pictured above) and it's awesome. :3 . I have deep connections with everyone in imaginationland. I HATE EMO's!!!! I am upbeat and try to have fun, and I love PIZZA! Videogames aren't a hobby they're a life style. I'm not nerdy or fat so those insults don't apply to me. I like hot blonde chicks with big boobs, but so do most guys. Jessica Nigri is especially hot, I met her! She's great.

Yes, I do have a confirmed FML. :D

Follow me on twitter!
www.twitter.com/Kealander

kemando's page activity

Visits<b>sdlr32787</b> - yesterday at 4:58pm<b>dubb420</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 8:27am<b>jensensfuckbuddy</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:55am<b>groovy579</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:43pm<b>sspence</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 5:51pm<b>xyro775</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 10:15am<b>otumboo</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:49am<b>Smoot7</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:40am<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 10:24pm<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:19pm<b>jennakate06</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 7:49am<b>DkrANGEL</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:00am<b>odod777</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:25am<b>xTrepidation</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:33am<b>Neverafter</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:30am<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:24am<b>PROEMG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:48am<b>IcemistDragon</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:19pm

kemando's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kemando's badges

kemando's favorite FMLs

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

#21270617
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35120) - you deserved it (2715)

On 10/04/2014 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and head butted me. Now there is just an awkward silence. FML

#21270556
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (3854)

On 10/04/2014 at 8:11am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

#21261760
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (165) - you deserved it (11064)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55745) - you deserved it (4144)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I returned to my teaching job at a local community college after surfing for the weekend. I'd got sunburned, one student immediately noticed and said to me, "Morning, Mr. Pinky!" Now they all do it. My students are assholes. I hate teaching. FML

#21209954
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39111) - you deserved it (7601)

On 07/15/2014 at 6:04pm - work - by mister_pinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I watched a Youtube video about artists who ripped off other artist's songs. All of the bands that were accused of stealing were all bands that I really enjoy. FML

#21194507
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34701) - you deserved it (9775)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:12am - misc - by dillon (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56007) - you deserved it (4426)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer told me, "Girls your size can't bend at the waist." I couldn't stop laughing at the imagery long enough to be really offended. FML

#21161933
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34913) - you deserved it (5132)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by jennythezebra (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

#21159292
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46645) - you deserved it (4825)

On 06/01/2014 at 12:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

#21156317
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47787) - you deserved it (4194)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm - love - by jonchavez - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was waiting on a Canadian tourist at work, and he bought some of the most expensive stuff on the menu. I was excited about maybe getting a big tip, so I casually said that in the USA, waiters make most of our money off tips. The guy just snorted, "Sucks to be American, eh?!" and left. FML

#21127302
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37707) - you deserved it (27823)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by yes, yes it does :( (woman) - United States

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42421) - you deserved it (5548)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

#21119838
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37916) - you deserved it (3209)

On 04/22/2014 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML

#21113059
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37903) - you deserved it (4814)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:43pm - misc - by stupidcunt (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

#21112602
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42477) - you deserved it (5373)

On 04/14/2014 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malta



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