kelseylou

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kelseylou

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 865
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About kelseylou : 26. Married, five feet tall, an artist, and a gamer.

kelseylou's page activity

Visits<b>Helldemon</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 3:33am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 5:40am<b>rootbeer42</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:08am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 7:35pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Matthew86</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 2:41am<b>jasonmar</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 1:03am<b>Proughboy</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 11:45pm<b>TechFire</b> - the 06/12/2011 at 12:14am<b>Fjeze90</b> - the 10/25/2010 at 1:58pm

kelseylou's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of kelseylou's badges

kelseylou's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2012 at 1:32am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I was looking through some old family photos. I don't know what the hell was going on in my head, but I idly double-tapped on one to zoom in. They were prints. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 5:17pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 12:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my English bulldog standing over me, getting ready to pee. I didn't move in time. FML

by Monkey / 07/31/2010 at 12:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

by mr / 07/27/2010 at 2:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

by cold-n-stinky / 01/12/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2010 at 11:19am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

by pissfaced / 01/02/2010 at 8:41am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

by Lovergirl / 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

by paidback / 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2009 at 8:30pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 11:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 2:36pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

by WIIslave / 12/14/2009 at 2:49am / United States (Oregon) / Health