About kelseylou : 26. Married, five feet tall, an artist, and a gamer.
kelseylou's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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kelseylou's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/28/2012 at 1:32am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 5:17pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 12:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Monkey / 07/31/2010 at 12:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML
by mr / 07/27/2010 at 2:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
by cold-n-stinky / 01/12/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2010 at 11:19am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by pissfaced / 01/02/2010 at 8:41am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
by Lovergirl / 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by paidback / 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML
by Anonymous / 12/21/2009 at 8:30pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 11:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML
by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 2:36pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML
by WIIslave / 12/14/2009 at 2:49am / United States (Oregon) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…