About kellyrose0322 : I'm Kelly, I'm 17, I love to play volleyball, I love playing Skyrim and BioShock and I love love love my boyfriend.
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kellyrose0322's favorite FMLs
by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless and cliched and that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML
by ashprove611 / 12/27/2012 at 4:47am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML
by hborkowski / 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
by all by myself / 12/25/2012 at 12:00am / United States (Alaska) / Love
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
by orgasmicriding / 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
by lonelygirl / 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm / United States (Utah) / Animals
Today, I hooked up with my ex-girlfriend, after she confessed to still being in love with me. I logged into Facebook after she left, only to find her status set to "I think I just made a big mistake." FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 7:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by AkGirl1991 / 03/11/2012 at 7:33am / United States (Alaska) / Love
Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
by neednewdeoderant / 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
by yuck / 11/15/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Animals
- Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in… Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone,… Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle…