Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kelliebaby

Search for a member

kelliebaby
  • Town/Country : SD, usa, californiaaaa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 August 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 347
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About kelliebaby : i'm kellie :]

www.myspace.com/kelliebbygrl

kelliebaby's last visitors

iztrollinnn

kelliebaby's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

kelliebaby's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

#284763
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58455) - you deserved it (19379)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49035) - you deserved it (93058)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

#259526
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91253) - you deserved it (5291)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:55am - work - by SalonGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (451593) - you deserved it (32009)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239655) - you deserved it (56611)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: