kbtoys

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kbtoys

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15347
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kbtoys : FML gives me warm, fuzzy feelings about how much better my life is than so many people out there. It's fucking awesome, I've got to say.

kbtoys's page activity

Visits<b>finchy420</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 6:02am<b>Sunflora219</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 10:26pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:02pm<b>racerboy102</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 5:59pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:44pm<b>joco4</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 6:22am<b>Throggdor</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 12:51pm<b>nousername111</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:21am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:12pm<b>_kristaaxo</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Camwentz</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:42am<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 4:34pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:16pm<b>jacklev</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Formula86</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 11:01pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 5:46am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 1:24am<b>tori3700</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 2:06am

kbtoys's FML badges

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kbtoys's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

by highleyj / 04/01/2009 at 4:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

by Donzai / 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

by TahRah / 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML

by Noname / 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

by LuvShawn / 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

by Kasizzle / 02/26/2009 at 9:13am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

by jsw029 / 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

by Joe / 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

by addictedtofml / 02/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

by Nails / 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

by darn it. / 02/20/2009 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love