Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kaynorr

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

kaynorr

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 May 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 653
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About kaynorr : I like cheese but the one in my fridge is moldy FML

kaynorr's page activity

Visits<b>nialls_princess1</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 12:13am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 5:03pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 1:15am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 2:29pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 4:53am<b>amazingly_j</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 4:02am<b>Faith13</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 3:09am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 2:10pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 8:47pm<b>dt1990</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 7:43am<b>chelsss3</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 12:39am<b>PotentPooters23</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 5:51pm<b>Ranger755</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 7:25pm<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 8:50pm<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 3:45am<b>Jimboom</b> - the 04/07/2011 at 6:07am<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 04/07/2011 at 5:15am

kaynorr's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kaynorr's badges

kaynorr's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35575) - you deserved it (3733)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65289) - you deserved it (32679)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41349) - you deserved it (17800)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47213) - you deserved it (17123)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44323) - you deserved it (19889)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34055) - you deserved it (3499)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46816) - you deserved it (9318)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81291) - you deserved it (4207)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49358) - you deserved it (6444)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48144) - you deserved it (9258)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48186) - you deserved it (13769)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43646) - you deserved it (18761) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: