Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

katdaiken

Search for a member

katdaiken
  • Town/Country : Hamilton , Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 January 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 554
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About katdaiken : I love tattoos!!!!!
I'm a child and youth worker
Engaged :)
Love Fml
Love Simpsons American dad the Cleveland show futurama Etc
I'm naturally easily to get along with till you piss me off :)

katdaiken's last visitors

xzanexEnzikansahherpderpherpderp

katdaiken's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of katdaiken's badges

katdaiken's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

#20135660
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15335) - you deserved it (9494)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by whoreticulturalist (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

#20133890
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17727) - you deserved it (1310)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML

#20132044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6449) - you deserved it (23657)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm - money - by onlyme (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

#20130988
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19170) - you deserved it (961)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5118) - you deserved it (33435)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5118) - you deserved it (33435)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13835) - you deserved it (2029)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML

#20128657
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13233) - you deserved it (1020)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:51pm - misc - by musicthief - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (4129)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (3161)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

#20122439
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15225) - you deserved it (1636)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by murp (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

#20115322
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19702) - you deserved it (2347)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16109) - you deserved it (2736)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25708) - you deserved it (2425)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25708) - you deserved it (2425)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: