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katdaiken

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katdaiken

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2737
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About katdaiken : I'm Canadian I love the Simpsons & what not, tattooed & happily married I work with behavioural needs & autistic students. Graduated high school & did a year of psychology in college. I love FML & I'm constantly on it :) have a good one

katdaiken's page activity

Visits<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 3:10am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:55am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:54am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:27am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 2:17am<b>rexgober</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 11:28pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 12:20pm<b>riffraff222</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 9:39pm<b>thycleverestname</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 11:28am<b>barfcannon</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 12:10am<b>jmccarley1</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 5:30am<b>ThatsCrazyIsh</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 2:17pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 10:49pm<b>JonnyBoy18</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 8:37am<b>AGB10</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 3:42am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 11:38pm<b>BigMatt803</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 10:33pm<b>marcuscummings</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 9:50pm

katdaiken's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of katdaiken's badges

katdaiken's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44512) - you deserved it (7722)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40232) - you deserved it (5242)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48571) - you deserved it (15893)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML

#21052823
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32835) - you deserved it (13634)

On 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm - work - by AnonymousQuagga - United States (Texas)

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41212) - you deserved it (21431)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

#21049461
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43185) - you deserved it (5955)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40078) - you deserved it (3708)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37808) - you deserved it (14076)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

#21047796
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39546) - you deserved it (6109)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:33am - misc - by tsukinoie - United States

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed hysterically as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37091) - you deserved it (3533)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41638) - you deserved it (7694)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22339) - you deserved it (41800)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML



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