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katdaiken

Offline (the 08/30/2014 at 6:28am) | Search for a member

katdaiken

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3558
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About katdaiken : I'm Canadian I love the Simpsons & what not, tattooed & happily married I work with behavioural needs & autistic students. Graduated high school & did a year of psychology in college. I love FML & I'm constantly on it :) have a good one

katdaiken's page activity

Visits<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 3:10am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:55am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:54am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:27am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 2:17am<b>rexgober</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 11:28pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 12:20pm<b>riffraff222</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 9:39pm<b>thycleverestname</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 11:28am<b>barfcannon</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 12:10am<b>jmccarley1</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 5:30am<b>ThatsCrazyIsh</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 2:17pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 10:49pm<b>JonnyBoy18</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 8:37am<b>AGB10</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 3:42am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 11:38pm<b>BigMatt803</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 10:33pm<b>marcuscummings</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 9:50pm

katdaiken's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of katdaiken's badges

katdaiken's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

#20622674
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72927) - you deserved it (10016)

On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54669) - you deserved it (6843)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65671) - you deserved it (12619)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14726) - you deserved it (57799)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

#20576602
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45013) - you deserved it (7836)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

#20575140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39558) - you deserved it (3523)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the McDonald's in my town ran out of fries. I was the one who had to tell all the angry customers we had no more fries in the store. FML

#20571214
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33993) - you deserved it (3538)

On 04/02/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17981) - you deserved it (40737)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33171) - you deserved it (4457)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

#20553373
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45654) - you deserved it (5924)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

#20540639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29874) - you deserved it (2704)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

#20539958
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31011) - you deserved it (5822)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38118) - you deserved it (6045)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

#20518703
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31619) - you deserved it (3975)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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