Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

katdaiken

Offline (yesterday at 4:11am) | Search for a member

katdaiken

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3835
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About katdaiken : I'm Canadian I love the Simpsons & what not, tattooed & happily married I work with behavioural needs & autistic students. Graduated high school & did a year of psychology in college. I love FML & I'm constantly on it :) have a good one

katdaiken's page activity

Visits<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 3:10am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:55am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:54am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:27am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 2:17am<b>rexgober</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 11:28pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 12:20pm<b>riffraff222</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 9:39pm<b>thycleverestname</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 11:28am<b>barfcannon</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 12:10am<b>jmccarley1</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 5:30am<b>ThatsCrazyIsh</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 2:17pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 10:49pm<b>JonnyBoy18</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 8:37am<b>AGB10</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 3:42am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 11:38pm<b>BigMatt803</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 10:33pm<b>marcuscummings</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 9:50pm

katdaiken's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of katdaiken's badges

katdaiken's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

#21218239
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40391) - you deserved it (13571)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

#21211826
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40282) - you deserved it (11822)

On 07/17/2014 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42631) - you deserved it (6212)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

#21131413
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44986) - you deserved it (22487)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by PCJJacket - United States (California)

Today, I let my sister use my phone to play music in the shower, expecting her to use the speakers I have. She used a ziplock bag with a hole in it to connect her headphones. Now I have a waterlogged phone and my sister still doesn't understand why it didn't work. FML

#21130991
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42599) - you deserved it (7484)

On 05/04/2014 at 11:18pm - misc - by wow. - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

#21130670
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42923) - you deserved it (6134)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41133) - you deserved it (10446)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45174) - you deserved it (4735)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was driving my grandpa to the store because his car is in the shop. I was well within the speed limit, but he kept yelling at me for "speeding", then accused me of trying to give him a heart attack, and eventually pulled the e-brake, getting us rear-ended. He refuses to apologise. FML

#21129670
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45293) - you deserved it (3548)

On 05/03/2014 at 2:15pm - work - by kezbabes - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24619) - you deserved it (32318)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36165) - you deserved it (3974)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48562) - you deserved it (4418)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was waiting on a Canadian tourist at work, and he bought some of the most expensive stuff on the menu. I was excited about maybe getting a big tip, so I casually said that in the USA, waiters make most of our money off tips. The guy just snorted, "Sucks to be American, eh?!" and left. FML

#21127302
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37682) - you deserved it (27813)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by yes, yes it does :( (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a birthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my birthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of "Who the hell's this?" FML

#21127076
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38706) - you deserved it (4202)

On 04/30/2014 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42364) - you deserved it (5544)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: