Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

katdaiken

Offline (18 hours ago) | Search for a member

katdaiken

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3828
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About katdaiken : I'm Canadian I love the Simpsons & what not, tattooed & happily married I work with behavioural needs & autistic students. Graduated high school & did a year of psychology in college. I love FML & I'm constantly on it :) have a good one

katdaiken's page activity

Visits<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 3:10am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:55am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:54am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:27am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 2:17am<b>rexgober</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 11:28pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 12:20pm<b>riffraff222</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 9:39pm<b>thycleverestname</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 11:28am<b>barfcannon</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 12:10am<b>jmccarley1</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 5:30am<b>ThatsCrazyIsh</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 2:17pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 10:49pm<b>JonnyBoy18</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 8:37am<b>AGB10</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 3:42am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 11:38pm<b>BigMatt803</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 10:33pm<b>marcuscummings</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 9:50pm

katdaiken's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of katdaiken's badges

katdaiken's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43574) - you deserved it (14234) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

#21055217
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38872) - you deserved it (7477)

On 02/09/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by took it - United States (New York)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48426) - you deserved it (9533)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41737) - you deserved it (5691)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52249) - you deserved it (18514)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML

#21052823
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34098) - you deserved it (14438)

On 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm - work - by AnonymousQuagga - United States (Texas)

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41567) - you deserved it (21610)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

#21049461
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43635) - you deserved it (6015)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41061) - you deserved it (3810)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38134) - you deserved it (14221)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

#21047796
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40619) - you deserved it (6277)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:33am - misc - by tsukinoie - United States

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (3975)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43167) - you deserved it (8211)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: