Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kaosps2

Offline (the 05/26/2015 at 7:51pm) | Search for a member

kaosps2

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1325
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kaosps2's page activity

Visits<b>electraheart</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 6:07pm<b>Chelsea0828</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 2:27am<b>sarah6786</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 4:11pm<b>Squirrel1256</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 3:36pm<b>jsp16</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 6:57pm<b>DHoang22</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 5:05pm<b>Tpracingkg</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 5:04pm

kaosps2's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of kaosps2's badges

kaosps2's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22873) - you deserved it (6220)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

#19860691
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23815) - you deserved it (3953)

On 06/28/2012 at 1:36pm - misc - by whoslade (man) - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

#19848753
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6519) - you deserved it (46542)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML

#19847673
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17557) - you deserved it (5654)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:59pm - misc - by hearingthings (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

#19805199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22165) - you deserved it (3551)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss gave me a new assignment at work: go online and look for my own replacement, then interview him. FML

#19800401
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (1899)

On 06/17/2012 at 4:50am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML

#19800158
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (4261)

On 06/17/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by historyfreak_17 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I trimmed my beard. When I showed my wife, she said, "Yeah, but you still look like a serial killer." FML

#19797072
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21879) - you deserved it (4853)

On 06/16/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Schaf_12 (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24259) - you deserved it (6674)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29733) - you deserved it (2422)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50027) - you deserved it (3378)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

#19786105
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26971) - you deserved it (4559)

On 06/14/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by ouch - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13206) - you deserved it (23694)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: