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Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (1461)
On 11/30/2011 at 5:53am - health - by shitty day - United States
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24122) - you deserved it (4003)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29908) - you deserved it (5782)
On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20445) - you deserved it (40773)
On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States
Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8727) - you deserved it (26187)
On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26896) - you deserved it (8000)
Today, I was asked if my bellybutton was an 'innie' or an 'outtie.' My bellybutton has been hidden by fat for so long that I couldn't remember. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8382) - you deserved it (26139)
On 10/06/2011 at 8:40pm - misc - by knzknz - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49701) - you deserved it (5248)
On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)
Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (63479) - you deserved it (2811)
On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom
Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied saying she is a hair dresser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4347) - you deserved it (28712)
On 12/02/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my husband decided he will be a 'stay at home' dad. We have two cats. No kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (3190)
On 06/03/2010 at 3:44am - animals - by Kate - United States (Arizona)
Today, I learned that a few pubes on your bed can stop you from getting laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4914) - you deserved it (18774)
On 03/15/2010 at 2:00am - intimacy - by PubelishedAuthor (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17408) - you deserved it (6108)
On 01/27/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by garage - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store are ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5909) - you deserved it (17856)
On 01/08/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14688) - you deserved it (34391)
On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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