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kangx1's FML badges
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
kangx1's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband and I had our first prenatal appointment. My doctor told us we shouldn't have sex during the first trimester, "just to be safe". He has no evidence to back this, but now my husband is too scared to touch me. FML
by 2.5-long-months / 07/28/2016 at 9:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had to stop at Starbucks to get my boss a drink. His son, who is at least 30 minutes late to work every day, was just walking in as I was walking out with all of my stuff. FML
by jaym42013 / 07/22/2016 at 3:29pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation daily in an effort to get pregnant. My husband has only had one task during the entire process, and after hours of gaming, he says he's just too tired to have sex. FML
by NotTheMomma / 07/22/2016 at 10:06am / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 6:28pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML
by scarred for life / 05/28/2016 at 1:23am / United States (Indiana) / Health
Today, I joined my boyfriend at a work conference out of state. One of the other conference-goers struck up a conversation and I obliged. Apparently, I was too nice. He followed me into the hotel lobby and openly watched me go back to my hotel room, making sure to count the room numbers. FML
by CreeptacularBait / 03/16/2016 at 5:33pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
by fuck right off / 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Health
Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML
by jynxisadouchebag / 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids
by justjoking / 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
by needanotherbed / 05/28/2014 at 10:21am / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Love
by _Ducks_ / 05/28/2014 at 12:08am / United States (California) / Kids
by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
- Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the bible during… Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on… Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in,…