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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 October 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1509
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kangaroo62's page activity

Visits<b>optimusic</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 6:41am<b>nlzvarri</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 7:42am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 12:44am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:00am<b>firefox9778</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:12am<b>Khivt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:53pm<b>Loewe90</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:07am<b>Ashafarah</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:04am<b>Fuzzbig</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 3:01pm<b>RadikulRam</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 9:15am<b>coldkilla70</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 2:12pm<b>NiamhMcA</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm<b>Hebrewhammers</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 5:16pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>Candy16</b> - the 07/06/2011 at 2:46am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:27am<b>PSQ91</b> - the 11/28/2010 at 5:24am<b>Scaha</b> - the 11/09/2009 at 8:44pm

kangaroo62's FML badges


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kangaroo62's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

by seepeezy32 / 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

by anon / 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

by yournick / 01/31/2011 at 4:23pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

by nicolette5785452 / 11/16/2010 at 10:34am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML

by screwed / 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of seven years dumped me because he said my cheeks getting way too fat for his taste and he didn't want to be with a chipmunk. FML

by chipmunk / 10/29/2009 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2009 at 1:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

by newguy / 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

by coolhand / 08/29/2009 at 11:13am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by NoCookForYou / 08/22/2009 at 2:29am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2009 at 12:01am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

by ahhahaha / 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

by scaredshitless / 08/07/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy