About kalixzo : Interpol.
Left 4 Dead.
About kalixzo : Interpol.
kalixzo's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
kalixzo's favorite FMLs
by cheekychimp23 / 07/24/2013 at 8:03am / United Kingdom / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML
by fuck family / 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm / Poland (Dolnoslaskie) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML
by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by ohgodwhy / 04/06/2013 at 10:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by slightlyworried / 04/05/2013 at 1:28am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Transportation
by Why son, why? / 03/20/2013 at 7:07am / United States / Intimacy
by amberrenee91 / 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by nerdgirlmickey / 03/03/2013 at 11:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…