Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kakaofrost

Search for a member

kakaofrost

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1305
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kakaofrost's page activity

Visits<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 7:06am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 8:18pm<b>larson15</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 2:15am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 5:21pm<b>Jemm</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 11:40am<b>dalink</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 6:29am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 10:31pm<b>wardie</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 3:42am<b>HKCgrimmjow</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 2:13am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 12:02am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 5:15pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 3:19pm<b>heinous966</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 9:23am<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 5:09pm<b>CoolBreezeKing</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 6:27pm<b>sweatypandalove</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 1:09am<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 9:10pm<b>crazedsyco</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 2:11am

kakaofrost's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of kakaofrost's badges

kakaofrost's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22526) - you deserved it (3851)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

#20142562
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27131) - you deserved it (4527)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30916) - you deserved it (3432)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22782) - you deserved it (4068)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10225) - you deserved it (40596)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20168) - you deserved it (1261)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6996) - you deserved it (46673)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (4266)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37234) - you deserved it (12403)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47457) - you deserved it (1966)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25389) - you deserved it (1927)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22721) - you deserved it (7372)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34685) - you deserved it (4741)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

#20098094
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33906) - you deserved it (2343)

On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: