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Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (352826) - you deserved it (66594)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (120118) - you deserved it (12009)
On 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by eaa145 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55736) - you deserved it (24212)
On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83083) - you deserved it (4512)
On 03/03/2009 at 11:20am - intimacy - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39396) - you deserved it (125218)
On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14095) - you deserved it (43002)
On 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Stixchop (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35221) - you deserved it (19891)
On 02/26/2009 at 11:08am - kids - by iailwkrb (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35221) - you deserved it (19891)
On 02/26/2009 at 11:08am - kids - by iailwkrb (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35369) - you deserved it (14118)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:01am - intimacy - by secret123 - United States
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41137) - you deserved it (10083)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking down the street with my newly healed implants, when a drag queen approached me and asked who my doctor was, because I was the "most convincing transgender he had ever seen." I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (7587)
On 02/07/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by woo. - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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