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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you deserved it (65191)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45928) - you deserved it (6704)
On 08/05/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by some_girl_19 (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37967) - you deserved it (17149)
On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46114) - you deserved it (2300)
On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44617) - you deserved it (16112)
On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went on a group job interview, where all the applicants seem to have the same qualifications. When the interviewer dismissed all of us but the prettiest girl, outraged, I told him he was a prejudiced pig, and should be ashamed of himself. Apparently she was the only one who had a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5239) - you deserved it (38567)
On 07/28/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36015) - you deserved it (12097)
On 07/26/2009 at 11:16am - love - by JennaMarie (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the airport for my two week trip to explore Europe. My ticket was denied and the workers turned me away. When I asked why, they told me to check the date. My ticket was for June 22nd, not July. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14628) - you deserved it (44197)
On 07/22/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22351) - you deserved it (47313)
On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (73772)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (73772)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38294) - you deserved it (2783)
On 07/13/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18006) - you deserved it (43107)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (103336) - you deserved it (3353)
On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (17924)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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