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Judgmental
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (352961) - you deserved it (66623)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don't own a diesel car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61385) - you deserved it (6684)
On 03/04/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Damn_her (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML
I agree, your life sucks (93430) - you deserved it (3751)
On 03/04/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Kensie (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32281) - you deserved it (74220)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43719) - you deserved it (35535)
On 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm - kids - by Fat Dad (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32914) - you deserved it (382678)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (205211) - you deserved it (44823)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19659) - you deserved it (31715)
On 02/26/2009 at 9:13am - work - by Kasizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9438) - you deserved it (36985)
On 02/26/2009 at 3:07am - work - by bluecollar (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16775) - you deserved it (37611)
On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)
Today, I just studied for 13.5 hours completely outlining a book for history. Thirty minutes before the test, I realized I had been reading the wrong book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28606) - you deserved it (30898)
On 02/23/2009 at 10:32am - work - by Nic (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to a plastic surgeon's office with a friend. The doctor walked in and before he could look at the consult papers, he started explaining the lipo suction procedure to me. I had to interrupt him and tell him that I was only there for support for my friend's nose job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34823) - you deserved it (4013)
On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by tigerfiend (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177831) - you deserved it (61439)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40568) - you deserved it (6412)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (407869) - you deserved it (26472)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Monday 20 May 2013
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