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Judgmental
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me give her a foot massage after she had a long day at work. Halfway thorough, she fell asleep. Wanting to see how ticklish she actually was, I started to tickle her feet. She then kicked me straight in the nuts whilst sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7982) - you deserved it (43147)
On 05/30/2011 at 3:15pm - love - by anon80214 (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33339) - you deserved it (13136)
On 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by valerie - United States (Texas)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33339) - you deserved it (13136)
On 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by valerie - United States (Texas)
Today, I was babysitting a three year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25658) - you deserved it (10717)
On 05/18/2011 at 6:57am - kids - by JCC (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21064) - you deserved it (25316)
On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)
Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22702) - you deserved it (9327)
On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (14073) - you deserved it (66853)
On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my shoulder was pulled out of its socket when I was helping a customer load a desk into his vehicle and he decided to answer his cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21027) - you deserved it (1607)
On 02/28/2011 at 12:43am - work - by jack -
Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26762) - you deserved it (2367)
On 02/26/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Angela (woman) - United States
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17809) - you deserved it (36504)
On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (10365)
On 02/08/2011 at 11:57am - love - by Username - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30146) - you deserved it (3854)
On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14674) - you deserved it (16218)
On 01/07/2011 at 12:46am - health - by biscuit (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24291) - you deserved it (3057)
On 01/03/2011 at 1:56pm - kids - by jenabp - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27480) - you deserved it (3058)
On 12/18/2010 at 4:11am - love - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Friday 24 May 2013
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