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jweis28

Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 9:07pm) | Search for a member

jweis28

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  • Number of visits : 1048
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jweis28's page activity

Visits<b>darkgodxvx</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 9:36am

jweis28's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of jweis28's badges

jweis28's favorite FMLs

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50481) - you deserved it (4431)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, the guy I was sexting asked me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

#21050596
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49036) - you deserved it (19979)

On 02/04/2014 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by khfhjfsb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49733) - you deserved it (6231)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

#21027337
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45577) - you deserved it (7095)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by rholt (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36714) - you deserved it (12455)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

#20974597
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43580) - you deserved it (7139)

On 11/29/2013 at 10:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44401) - you deserved it (3329)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18075) - you deserved it (26530)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

#19336672
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27375) - you deserved it (10342)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

#19324505
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27484) - you deserved it (3575)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

#18926603
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29288) - you deserved it (3359)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

#18860865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35750) - you deserved it (10137)

On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42164) - you deserved it (5130)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31145) - you deserved it (15521)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)



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