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Judgmental
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12975) - you deserved it (17579)
On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19985) - you deserved it (7526)
On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22187) - you deserved it (3089)
On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (2445)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (7749)
On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35334) - you deserved it (623)
On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25269) - you deserved it (11765)
On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my immature step-father rubbed my head destroying the $300 hairdo that took two and a half hours to finish. Three minutes before my wedding ceremony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47786) - you deserved it (4440)
On 11/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by Halle - United States (California)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71576) - you deserved it (9138)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71576) - you deserved it (9138)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (3955)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22368) - you deserved it (6489)
On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49655) - you deserved it (5248)
On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30017) - you deserved it (7149)
On 07/29/2011 at 3:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (3004)
On 06/26/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by ugly - United States
Sunday 12 May 2013
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