Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jwbfml

Search for a member

jwbfml
  • Town/Country : Tupelo, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 December 1977 (36 years)
  • Number of visits : 921
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jwbfml : I am here for laughs. I live in Mississippi. If you ever want to feel better about yourself, come visit us down here.

jwbfml's last visitors

_Willa_mantillaodod777lmc94LaxinitupMarceline_17Trollxkiwi2006GothicAngel17

jwbfml's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of jwbfml's badges

jwbfml's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11035) - you deserved it (25586)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

#20062299
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3142) - you deserved it (32325)

On 09/07/2012 at 8:26pm - misc - by scumbag i guess - United States (Texas)

Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML

#20060961
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6473) - you deserved it (10838)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML

#20057350
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5006) - you deserved it (33730)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:44pm - love - by noname1025 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22681) - you deserved it (3053)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

#20054806
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17541) - you deserved it (1322)

On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23868) - you deserved it (4144)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19045) - you deserved it (3205)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19045) - you deserved it (3205)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

#20053590
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10953) - you deserved it (31585)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

#20053590
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10953) - you deserved it (31585)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

#20051466
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24196) - you deserved it (1982)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

#20051466
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24196) - you deserved it (1982)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10293) - you deserved it (32078)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10293) - you deserved it (32078)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: