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Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, while socialising after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming, "The devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20279) - you deserved it (2140)
On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
I agree, your life sucks (29755) - you deserved it (4219)
On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5965) - you deserved it (15955)
On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17497) - you deserved it (1491)
On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21705) - you deserved it (1563)
On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States
Today, I woke up and walked out of my room, only to find that the wooden frame at the bottom of the door was busted to pieces. The screen to the fireplace was open as well. This is the second time a squirrel has come down the chimney and destroyed our door. I still have no idea where he is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14955) - you deserved it (1487)
On 01/18/2010 at 2:33pm - animals - by Intoxicunt (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I checked my Facebook notifications to see that someone likes my new single status. My ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20034) - you deserved it (3904)
On 01/15/2010 at 12:07am - love - by hesaidwhat - United States
Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33230) - you deserved it (2713)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29659) - you deserved it (1979)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42607) - you deserved it (19148)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13003) - you deserved it (32424)
On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19311) - you deserved it (3441)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12419) - you deserved it (32433)
On 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by JustMyLuck (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84476) - you deserved it (17442)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31935) - you deserved it (2698)
On 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm - work - by iceman123432 (man) - United States (Texas)
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