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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14127) - you deserved it (17552)
On 11/14/2012 at 6:39am - misc - by hclagopus (man) - Norway
Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15654) - you deserved it (4931)
On 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18013) - you deserved it (3072) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22373) - you deserved it (3168)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (7648)
On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)
Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18258) - you deserved it (3316)
On 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Polmkk (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML
I agree, your life sucks (12661) - you deserved it (31772)
On 06/20/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by NewTenant (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31186) - you deserved it (6737)
On 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9951) - you deserved it (25813)
On 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by overexcited (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at work, I was forced to listen to the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Christmas album on repeat for 8 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28047) - you deserved it (2942)
On 12/02/2009 at 2:14am - work - by makeitstop - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13160) - you deserved it (5500)
On 11/25/2009 at 2:23am - intimacy - by sexyconvo (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61317) - you deserved it (3345)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3780) - you deserved it (33383)
On 01/17/2009 at 8:15am - love - by FailMan - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3780) - you deserved it (33383)
On 01/17/2009 at 8:15am - love - by FailMan - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 17 June 2013
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