julian24245

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julian24245

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3138
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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julian24245's page activity

Visits<b>predator0309</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:41pm<b>noahsmummy</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 4:58am<b>cakeisfun</b> - the 06/06/2011 at 7:23am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:11am<b>zolziski</b> - the 01/03/2011 at 4:44am<b>Jadian</b> - the 09/11/2010 at 12:02am

julian24245's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

julian24245's favorite FMLs

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

by OCDrunk / 11/23/2011 at 1:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

by thunderthighs644 / 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm / Health

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML

by jazzybell / 11/20/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

by VladyBoi / 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I had a relaxing night watching movies with my room-mates. Everyone but I had a girl over to lie with during the movie. The closest I got all night was the multiple times my room-mate's dog tried to mount me. FML

by Hollywoodanonymous / 10/31/2011 at 2:57am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

by yum yogurt / 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

by me / 10/29/2011 at 12:43am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, without telling me, my mom dropped me off at my grandmother's house, and drove off. Now I'm supposed to spend the next month with her. Guess she forgot my grandma died six weeks ago. FML

by lonely / 10/24/2011 at 10:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML

by charlotte9338 / 10/23/2011 at 7:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

by danii / 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

by egghead / 09/23/2011 at 4:31am / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML

by Branman2480 / 09/19/2011 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Work