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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3609
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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julian24245's page activity

Visits<b>predator0309</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:41pm<b>noahsmummy</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 4:58am<b>cakeisfun</b> - the 06/06/2011 at 7:23am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:11am<b>zolziski</b> - the 01/03/2011 at 4:44am<b>Jadian</b> - the 09/11/2010 at 12:02am

julian24245's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

julian24245's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents invited my Muslim boyfriend over for dinner for the first time. My mother made sure that everything including the salad had pork in it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 7:10am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML

by vanessax / 04/11/2012 at 1:04am / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I failed my driving test. I rammed into the parallel parking poles, ran a stop sign, and stopped at a cross intersection. My instructor called me an idiot. FML

by Brittany / 03/27/2012 at 10:38pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML

by bibi / 03/19/2012 at 7:43pm / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Animals

Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML

by cachucy / 03/18/2012 at 11:04am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

by Redhead4life / 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

by belieber101 / 03/17/2012 at 8:45am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

by Taylor Easley / 03/17/2012 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

by 0stvn0 / 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous