About jsp16 : I hate snails
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Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39928) - you deserved it (6536)
On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29793) - you deserved it (4475)
On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17611) - you deserved it (3290)
On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17562) - you deserved it (2585)
On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19733) - you deserved it (10825)
On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15946) - you deserved it (1547)
On 08/31/2012 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15192) - you deserved it (4766)
On 08/17/2012 at 12:08am - love - by SquishFish - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5230) - you deserved it (27728)
On 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (1752)
On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10548) - you deserved it (32410)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4137) - you deserved it (25341)
On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19524) - you deserved it (7706)
On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)
Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (2214)
On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)
Today, in the middle of my online midterm, my computer decided to update and closed out of the test. It can't be retaken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28970) - you deserved it (2671)
On 07/12/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by failure - United States (Minnesota)
Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21444) - you deserved it (2014)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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