Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jsimms895

Search for a member

jsimms895

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 809
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About jsimms895 : The names Johnathan I much rather prefer JJ im16 Male Basketball, Football, Soccer Poetry is Passion Talk to me wenever and message me im a nice guy soo talk me up :)



Texas Ranger: Someone didn't love you enough when you were little, did they?

Legend of Ricky Bobby is the shit

Reese Bobby: That's a good call.

Texas Ranger: Tragic

jsimms895's page activity

Visits<b>GotItWow</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 9:20pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 6:00pm<b>Bmf2k</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 5:32pm<b>jesszlatos</b> - the 11/17/2011 at 1:42am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:02pm<b>xtend</b> - the 07/22/2010 at 9:52am<b>redrovaa</b> - the 07/19/2010 at 9:08pm<b>Hannalea</b> - the 07/10/2010 at 1:32pm<b>FrecklesXO</b> - the 06/12/2010 at 10:09pm<b>morgan06</b> - the 06/11/2010 at 10:54am<b>Howulikeit</b> - the 06/09/2010 at 11:18pm<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 06/09/2010 at 7:30pm<b>Blakeup</b> - the 06/09/2010 at 12:14pm<b>GreekGoddessGirl</b> - the 06/09/2010 at 10:36am<b>kltg</b> - the 06/05/2010 at 3:46pm<b>ratrodhoney</b> - the 06/03/2010 at 8:03pm<b>vanishesinair</b> - the 05/30/2010 at 1:23am<b>kgindawoodz</b> - the 05/30/2010 at 1:07am

jsimms895's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jsimms895's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML

#14272041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33549) - you deserved it (8898)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

#14228543
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43640) - you deserved it (5608)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by carson28 - United States (California)

Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML

#8336543
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23938) - you deserved it (2127)

On 02/16/2010 at 11:35am - work - by kennarama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

#5073384
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10849) - you deserved it (32196)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by cachow (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind she called "can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her un-load bags. She began hitting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML

#4942849
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38815) - you deserved it (5803)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:32pm - misc - by LGFLIPSTER (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

#4344107
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38453) - you deserved it (6673)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML

#214939
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50087) - you deserved it (3897)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:14am - work - by Shell (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriends house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

#2985
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6495) - you deserved it (27339)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:15am - love - by dieold - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: