jsimms895

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jsimms895

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1052
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About jsimms895 : The names Johnathan I much rather prefer JJ im16 Male Basketball, Football, Soccer Poetry is Passion Talk to me wenever and message me im a nice guy soo talk me up :)



Texas Ranger: Someone didn't love you enough when you were little, did they?

Legend of Ricky Bobby is the shit

Reese Bobby: That's a good call.

Texas Ranger: Tragic

jsimms895's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 7:02pm<b>Jose2018</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:00pm<b>sp00derman</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 6:22pm<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:38am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 7:40pm<b>zw5315</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:39am<b>GotItWow</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 9:20pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 6:00pm<b>Bmf2k</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 5:32pm<b>jesszlatos</b> - the 11/17/2011 at 1:42am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:02pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 8:05am<b>xtend</b> - the 07/22/2010 at 9:52am<b>redrovaa</b> - the 07/19/2010 at 9:08pm<b>Hannalea</b> - the 07/10/2010 at 1:32pm<b>FrecklesXO</b> - the 06/12/2010 at 10:09pm<b>morgan06</b> - the 06/11/2010 at 10:54am<b>Howulikeit</b> - the 06/09/2010 at 11:18pm

jsimms895's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jsimms895's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

by carson28 / 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML

by kennarama / 02/16/2010 at 11:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

by cachow / 09/06/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind she called "can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her un-load bags. She began hitting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML

by LGFLIPSTER / 08/30/2009 at 11:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

by Jacky-Boy / 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Work

Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML

by Shell / 03/05/2009 at 2:14am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriends house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

by dieold / 01/28/2009 at 7:15am / United States (Utah) / Love