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jrp

Offline (the 02/09/2016 at 5:22am) | Search for a member

jrp

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 810
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jrp's page activity

Visits<b>McNikk</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 9:44pm<b>sonnyrosa</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 10:43am

jrp's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of jrp's badges

jrp's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30882) - you deserved it (3717)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18330) - you deserved it (66434)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18887) - you deserved it (37850)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

#19986172
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (3854)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12669) - you deserved it (40643)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

#19945004
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18179) - you deserved it (28028)

On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
592 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15574) - you deserved it (59117) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

#18958302
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (4607)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:22am - kids - by beautifulme (woman) - United States

Today, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. I went and took a shower, and as I tried to get out, the door jammed. I called my friend for help, and after much tugging, the glass shattered all over me. She panicked and sent her dad to rescue me. It was the first time he and I had met. FML

#18666751
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28143) - you deserved it (2488)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Lotje13 - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22647) - you deserved it (47175)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23039) - you deserved it (50950)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42613) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86610) - you deserved it (6487)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21383) - you deserved it (70254)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML

#12000317
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11937) - you deserved it (41854)

On 07/20/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Lana (woman) - Austria (Wien)



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