Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jparker2015

Search for a member

jparker2015

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2642
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jparker2015's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jparker2015's favorite FMLs

Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML

#9155456
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5896) - you deserved it (82598)

On 03/17/2010 at 7:51am - misc - by KobraKommander - Sent from mobile version

Today, the windows on my car were frozen. I filled up a bucket of hot water, and threw it on the windows. The windows cracked. FML

#7803413
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7050) - you deserved it (73937)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by Chris - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML

#7732891
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6219) - you deserved it (83104)

On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I did a 'dine and dash' and left my phone in the restaurant. The owner answered my phone call. FML

#7321652
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4623) - you deserved it (72830)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7596) - you deserved it (66549)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8147) - you deserved it (85482)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a new laptop for Christmas. The picture on the box showed a woman balancing it on one finger to show how light it was, so I tried it myself. I dropped my laptop, breaking the hard drive and putting a massive crack down the screen. FML

#6953909
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6401) - you deserved it (89446)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break, I found my brothers PSP charger next to me. Out of boredom I put my tongue on the end on the metal. Not only did it fry my tongue but found its way to my metal filling in my tooth. I now have a sore tongue and a throbbing toothache. FML

#6803548
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4687) - you deserved it (71263)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Shocked (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML

#6679644
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7861) - you deserved it (68171)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm - love - by ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18143) - you deserved it (74735)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was driving down a highway during rush-hour. I heard my phone ring and couldn't find it. I bent down to feel around for it and got in an accident and totaled my car. The ringing? A commercial on the radio. Where was my phone? On my dresser at home. FML

#6554533
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9305) - you deserved it (64866)

On 12/01/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by horribledriver (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7269) - you deserved it (80390)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

#6302850
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7325) - you deserved it (68616)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

#6247099
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10937) - you deserved it (73896)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

#6042161
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9026) - you deserved it (83194)

On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: