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jpaigelandry

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jpaigelandry

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 93
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jpaigelandry : Hmmmm...... what to say..... Oh! I'm a happily married army wife. I like reading, writing, laughing and enjoying the little things in life while we're still living. I hope you find what your looking for on my little profile. :) Good day or night: whatever the case may be.

jpaigelandry's page activity

Visits<b>omgorel</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 11:11pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 10/29/2012 at 10:14am

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jpaigelandry's favorite FMLs

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27669) - you deserved it (3200)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35838) - you deserved it (5176)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26974) - you deserved it (2214)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

#20136351
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29653) - you deserved it (2402)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:22am - love - by prettylady? - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (4974)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32460) - you deserved it (2550)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

#5651689
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10336) - you deserved it (30148)

On 10/04/2009 at 10:01pm - love - by danskinnow (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47548) - you deserved it (7157)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

#3061560
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36725) - you deserved it (8574)

On 06/20/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by WhyTheFNot (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60937) - you deserved it (6896)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26681) - you deserved it (41610)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (236413) - you deserved it (82024)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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