jossii

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jossii

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1438
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jossii's page activity

Visits<b>Lars93</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 3:09am<b>muzy</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 8:01am<b>labracabrador</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:12pm<b>CodyXP26</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:02am<b>jthmtwin</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 9:22am<b>Marcella1016</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:28pm<b>jb590</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:07am<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:11am<b>winchestinalock</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 1:10pm<b>angelicdevil</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 4:48am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 2:47pm<b>TunaFireStarter</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Morreb</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:12am<b>Daonna</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 10:11pm<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 3:52pm<b>XOXONic</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 10:31am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 2:46am<b>Nooblah</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 10:03pm

jossii's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of jossii's badges

jossii's favorite FMLs

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML

by neighbour hell / 04/25/2013 at 1:56pm / Norway (Vest-Agder) / Miscellaneous

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I spent an entire raffle game desperately praying that I'd lose miserably, just so I wouldn't have to go up on stage and accept it. FML

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

by Maxie / 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

by JimmyT / 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

by guessnot / 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

by dr mamour / 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm / Love

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

by jay ze punk / 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

by PeeFlavouredFloss / 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous