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josieeeeeee_

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josieeeeeee_

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 26 September 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 130
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About josieeeeeee_ : Just a city girl, born and raised in south LA

josieeeeeee_'s page activity

Visits<b>Patty410</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 7:52pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 6:50pm<b>bomzo</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 6:04pm

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josieeeeeee_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

#21073837
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39231) - you deserved it (3506)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:06am - kids - by Ohgodmother (man) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25266) - you deserved it (55436)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51938) - you deserved it (18456)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54095) - you deserved it (6002) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54661) - you deserved it (6337)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54837) - you deserved it (10568)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49601) - you deserved it (7019)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32968) - you deserved it (3603)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (2170)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

#20053590
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11862) - you deserved it (33062)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27960) - you deserved it (2707) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16885) - you deserved it (30646)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36268) - you deserved it (5984)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

#16068047
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13014) - you deserved it (46701)

On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia



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