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jorr302209

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jorr302209

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  • Number of visits : 72
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jorr302209's favorite FMLs

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46196) - you deserved it (8853)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML

#19568325
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41757) - you deserved it (2607)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by Turnipseed3 - United States

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

#19405525
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32213) - you deserved it (11079)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:53am - intimacy - by gordogs 25 - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55690) - you deserved it (5494)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML

#16167560
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (7402)

On 05/14/2011 at 2:50am - kids - by whytoday - United States

Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML

#8242645
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34104) - you deserved it (5997)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from splash mountain. FML

#7148108
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29369) - you deserved it (2847)

On 01/04/2010 at 5:20pm - health - by onthetoilet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML

#6501664
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9273) - you deserved it (26453)

On 11/28/2009 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by nickyy (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

#3684210
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69707) - you deserved it (12246)

On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (208984) - you deserved it (11214)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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