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jonny2x4

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jonny2x4
  • Town/Country : The Cul de sac, CA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12064
  • Number of comments : 900
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jonny2x4 : Hi my name is Jonny. I live in a cul de sac in the suburbs of California. I may have an inanimate piece of wood for a friend, but I always keep it real. My brand of honesty you wouldn't get from anyone else.

BTW, was she hot?

jonny2x4's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jonny2x4's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were role playing when her mum walked past the slightly open door, saw me, and chased me out of the house for stealing her baby's innocence. I was only wearing a red speedo. FML

#12775979
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11203) - you deserved it (31665)

On 08/27/2010 at 7:16pm - intimacy - by yeah - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

#12768878
47 comments

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38676) - you deserved it (4237)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12874) - you deserved it (45835)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML

#12752465
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7465) - you deserved it (59050)

On 08/26/2010 at 6:09am - intimacy - by fmylife (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

#12751809
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28420) - you deserved it (10544)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML

#12706855
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13662) - you deserved it (36639)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by Ahook1 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

#12679955
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42300) - you deserved it (5361)

On 08/22/2010 at 8:14am - intimacy - by shawty - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML

#12657778
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15162) - you deserved it (21899)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML

#12657778
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15162) - you deserved it (21899)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24319) - you deserved it (3381)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent five minutes waiting by a stop sign. The two cars in front of me were taking a long time to move, so I began beeping and getting angry. Turns out, these cars were parked and I was holding up a line of traffic. FML

#12655399
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6110) - you deserved it (32260)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by becca (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

#12650265
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (3716)

On 08/20/2010 at 7:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was told that in order to be considered for more jobs, I should remove my college degree from my resume. FML

#12579737
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27417) - you deserved it (3162)

On 08/17/2010 at 7:43am - work - by JoannaG25 (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

#12573774
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35670) - you deserved it (4088)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ew. - Canada (British Columbia)



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